Paperjam

In simple terms: It is a poster of a very French looking man (who might be belgian actually) wearing modern clothes running away from an army of spear carrying warriors, pulling a face that can only be described as "pained". He is also carrying a cafetiere.

In actual fact this is probably the greatest film poster of all time, at once totally shit and utterly brilliant. My french is so bad that I could probably start a limited nuclear exchange just by mis-ordering some wine - yet I was fairly prepared to go and watch this en francais without any more info at all.

Also even when you are cold and wet in Paris, unsure as to exactly where your hotel has run off to, catching a glimpse of this poster will make even the most miserable person crack a smile, while someone else shouts "Do the face! Do the face!"

To kind-of paraphrase Kevin Spacey at the end of Se7en, “Only in a world this sick could you say that 2007 has been a good year for films”. There has been the occasional gem here and there, I enjoyed Sunshine, laughed at The Simpsons, German stasi drama The Lives Of Others was rather good and The Family Friend was exceptional.

Generally it’s been a load of old tat; The big summer films were mostly dull with Spiderman 3 deserving special mention for being particularly awful. There have also been a few real disappointments like Knocked Up, which was just really dull and Hot Fuzz which despite having a few good bits paled badly in comparison to Shaun Of The Dead. Then there have been the real dogs like Superbad (left the cinema with about 20 minutes left), Rocky Balboa (just shit in virtually every way) and The Kingdom (dreary, corny and a terribly simplistic attempt at some kind of political message).

Still things might be looking up over the next few months as this lot wings its promising way to UK (well, London) cinema screens:

No Country For Old Men First up, the latest film from the Coen brothers, probably the film I am most eager to go and see. Looks to be harking back to their brutal early classic Blood Simple. A hunter absconds with a load of money left at the scene of a drug deal gone very bad and is hunted by a completely psycho Javier Bardem who decides on whether to kill by flipping coins. Looks Ace. Trailer plus there are also some more clips

The Darjeeling Limited The new Wes Anderson film. It is being previewed at the London Film Festival. I would probably sleep with (or alternatively promise not to sleep with) anyone who can get me a ticket. Looks to be as quirky and slightly un-real as usual. Trailer

Thirty Days Of Night Vampire, survivalist nastiness including that bird who used to be in Home and Away. Looks a bit on the visceral side. Trailer

The Last Winter More snowbound horror with this Thing-esque thriller. Does look quite unsettling. Trailer

Be Kind, Rewind Jack Black and Mos Def have to make zero-budget versions of famous films when they blank all the tapes at the video rental store where they work. Latest from Gallic genius Michel Gondry. Trailer

Southland Tales Second film from the bloke who made Donnie Darko, got slated in a really long version at Cannes and is reported to be as mad as a box of frogs. Bit apocalyptic, again. Is that the Joy Zipper cover of the Pixies in the trailer? Trailer

Margot At The Wedding Have you seen The Squid And The Whale? if not you should do. This has the same sense of cynicism about people and how they relate to each other. Jack Black turns up again but seems fairly restrained. Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Jason Leigh are in charge. Trailer

I’m Not There Got very little idea about this but it seems to be getting a lot of coverage at film festivals, a whole bunch of actors play Bob Dylan in different eras. Apparently the best one is Cate Blanchette. Trailer

There Will Be Blood Historical oil rights drama from PT Anderson and starring a brooding and bitter Daniel Day Lewis. Cutting to the chase: Looks fucking intense. Trailer

Batman Begins was really good wasn't it? A comic book film that includes nasty drug induced hallucinations, scary Cillian Murphy and a Dawn Of The Dead homage has to have something going for it. Well with the sequel, The Dark Knight, it looks like they are setting the dark-o-meter to the most disturbing setting.

This is supposed to be a picture of Heath Ledger as The Joker, doesn't look all that amused does he? Check the scars. Oooh, nasty. This may not be genuine but it was revealed by some sort of viral marketing web site that I am not quite sad enough to have visited (or understand). If it is genuine then it looks like Christopher Nolan is taking the Batman films in a direction that you would have to describe as "unpleasant".

I've also read that a major reference for the Joker in this film for the director and actor is Alex from A Clockwork Orange. If so, I think it is fair to expect a slightly more menacing and rounded character than Arnie's portrayal of that criminal mastermind with a flair for side-splitting puns, Mr Freeze; "You are not sending me to de cooler!", how we laughed!

I had a chance to go and see this crazy looking anime flick during the flatpack festival in Birmingham. Being in a period of moping at the time, I didn't bother and now I'm gutted as I have no idea when it is going to be properly released in the UK (if at all).

The plot concerns a newly invented device that allows psychotherapists to enter their patients dreams to sort out any unpleasantness. One of the devices is stolen for nefarious reasons and, if the trailer is any indication, everything goes completely postal. The images on display include salarymen jumping off skyscrapers, speeding mermaids, giant dolls being blown up and all sorts of reality warping strangeness and nastiness, seemingly has the potential to make the fairy tale-on-mushrooms Spirited Away look like a particularly dull episode of Heartbeat.

More details on the web site, but no release dates for the UK. Sony Pictures Classic: Sort it out, you cocks.

We watched the trailer for "Hot Fuzz" just the other day, and I really hope they've saved all the jokes for the film. 'Cos the trailer was a bit dull.

Not like the "The Simpsons Movie" trailer, which had me still crying with laughter five minutes later. It's trailer number 2 you want, by the way...