Paperjam

Totally gutted to find that a re-make of this seminal late 80’s horror classic is soon to be released. The original is great, a stylish road movie cum slasher picture with a fantastic, mesmerising turn from Rutger Hauer as the creepy, almost supernatural title character. It’s so good that you can compare it to his effortlessly brilliant turn in Blade Runner.

In fact The Hitcher is probably the reason for the position I find myself in today. After watching it, my friend Clare and I spent some time going through all the dodgy Rutger Hauer films that we could get at the local video library, instead of doing proper revision for A level exams. It was alright for Clare, she was clever. I ended up bluffing my way through a business studies degree despite having a fantastic knowledge of Blind Fury, Salute of the Jugger and Split Second.

Anyhow, the remake looks like a pile of shit and Sean “100% Blade” Bean is playing the hitcher. Yes, that Sean Bean.

No I’m not adding a link to the fucking trailer. Look for it yourself.

As you probably know, the people who brought us ace sitcom Spaced and the marvellous Shaun Of The Dead are now back with the alarmingly titled Hot Fuzz. Looks like it swaps SOTD's Romero homage for a strong streak of Woo-inspired gunplay and crazy action. Imagine it will still be fairly funny too though.

As well as meandering around the video blogs available at the Working Title web site, you can now check out the enigmatically titled "Teaser Trailer One" and "Teaser Trailer Two", which don't give much away but give a fairly clear indication of the tone involved; Brit-comedy/bullet festival.

Not sure exactly when it is out. but Empire have got the release date down as 12th February next year. We can only hope that Coldplay are not involved in any way at all. While you are in the mood, you might also want to check out the preview for Smokin' Aces, a film which might be terrible or could be inspired. Either way it's got a great trailer, with a bodycount that Stalin wouldn't sniff at.

Another one to add to the list of potentially worthwhile upcoming films. We all love a bit of dystopia around here and this seems to fit the bill nicely; An adaption of a P.D. James novel, set in a future where children are no longer born and the whole place is going to the dogs as mankind slowly dies out.

Rather than go the Blade Runner route in presenting the urban future, I've read that this has more in common with grim eighties post-nuclear drama Threads. The trailer seems to bear this out, check the picture of Clive Owen sitting on a shitty train, looking totally miserable. Also on offer is all manner of civil unrest, a Fahrenheit 451-esque political underground, Michael Caine as a hippy, what looks like some kind of epic redemptive quest and that big Sigur Ros tune underscoring the action. Looks Good.

This is great - a short, funny film involving one of the blokes out of The Mighty Boosh. Manages to pack more humour and general truth about life into ninety seconds than the likes of Superman Returns manage in their entire three hour running times. Best bit is "That's the index, this is the list", or possibly the dead pigeon.

You can watch it at the Depict web site.

Well it is Sunday evening and I'm bored. I'm thinking of going to the flicks to watch Miami Vice, but that is more of a last resort than a positive choice. Happily, over the next few months it looks as though there will be a slew of decent films vying for my attention, for example:

A Scanner Darkly - Thought this was going to be out sooner, hits the screens next week and looks to be well worth getting to. Aside from Blade Runner this is purported to be a rare Philip K Dick adaption that actually resembles the source material.

The Wicker Man - Seems a terrible prospect, but it is being re-made by laugh-a-decade Neil LaBute so I doubt it will be a formulaic, happy ending sort of debacle. No sign of naked pagan dancing in the trailer though.

The Prestige - 19th Century magicians compete to have the most comical London accents, while Michael Caine offers gruff support. Christian Bale is in fact English so I have no idea why he sounds like Dick Van Dyke. Includes Scarlet Johansson, seems very mysterious. Hooray.

The Black Dahlia - De Palma directs probably the most well known Ellroy Novel. Hopefully it will be as good as LA Confidential, the slightly worrying casting of Hartnett is offset by Eckhart and Johansson (again).

The Fountain - I'm really, really hoping that this is going to be good. Three parallel stories set in the distant past, the present and the far future dealing with Hugh Jackman trying to save his Mrs (Rachel Weisz) by discovering the key to immortality. Clint Mansell of PWEI is doing the music for Aronofsky again.

Borat - Looks like it could be uncomfortably racist while also being uncomfortably funny. Directed by one of the guys behind Curb Your Enthusiasm, which is highly uncomfortable.

Casino Royale - Could be good, could be a load of pants. Looks like they have upped the nastiness of the violence to make it appear a bit more serious. Can't be worse than the other recent Bond films and Daniel Craig is usually excellent.

The flash looking new crime thriller from Martin Scorsese is in fact a re-make of the superb Hong Kong flick, Infernal Affairs. Having had a squiz at the trailer it looks like large bits of it are going to be exactly the same albeit with loads of famous actors, more gunplay and lashings of Rolling Stones music.

The "Joker" in the pack is the casting of Jack Nicholson as the crimelord at the centre of the complicated plot, it looks like he might bring something new and humourous to proceedings. But still, I strongly recommend that you get hold of the original instead of going to watch yet another hollywood copy, especially if it contains the uncomfortably bland version of Comfortably Numb used in the trailer.