Paperjam

1. It only comes in small bags, nudge nudge.

2. It comes from Yorkshire, the home of hemp, as you know.

3. It is shockingly pricey, even by the standards of the thoroughly creepy health food shop in Warwick where they wear white coats and act like a bunch of pervy doctors.

4. No, you can’t get high off the steam while it is cooking, but it will clear your pores out beautifully.

5. It is slightly courser than normal pasta.

6. It tastes quite nice, subtly herby.

7. It is very good for you, although probably not after drowning it in homemade sauce feauturing three different types of meat and more garlic than you would find in a French vampire hunter’s travelling bag.

8. It probably won't give you the munchies, but if it does, you are already eating.

I don't really make enough use of the excellent Globe supermarket at the bottom of town, To be honest I just go in there to grab some decent noodles and various bits and pieces that look like I can bung them in some form of stir-fry experiment. Currently I've got a packet of prepared cuttlefish that I don't really know what to do with.

The other week I picked up a bottle of Sriracha sauce, which is essentially hellfire in a bottle, the smallest amount thrown in to any meal makes life a lot more interesting. I thought I was getting used to it and decided to use it as a ketchup substitute while polishing off some cold pizza. That idea came back and bit me on the bum, and not just in a figurative sense.

Therefore I recommend this product wholeheartedly, just make sure that if you are using it liberally that you keep the bog roll in the fridge.