Paperjam

We're more than happy to fan the flames of the PR around the "axing" of the South Park episode "Trapped in the Closet", which won't be shown in the UK because of legal worries.

For those that haven't seen the episode, it starts off with Stan looking for some free kicks 'cos of a lack of ready cash. Some Scientologists promise some free fun, so he gets tested by them and they then presume he's the reincarnation of founder L. Ron Hubbard.

So the episode goes on from there into a real all-guns blazing assault on Scientology, including an eye-opening rendition of the batshit-mad Xenu story, which according to Wikipedia is part of Scientology doctrine. Parker/Stone underline the insanity of the story by flashing up "This What Scientologists Actually Believe" across the screen.

The episode has made headlines over here (Ananova story here) for a (very funny) joke about Tom Cruise going into a closet to hide in Stan's house, and being "trapped" there. John Travolta, Nicole Kidman and R. Kelly all turn up to try and persuade him out, and a news crew stare in the camera and say repeatedly, "When will Tom Cruise come out of the closet?"

The story on Ananova about Tom threatening legal action looks to be complete cobblers though.

> An insider was quoted as saying... "Tom was said not to like the episode and Paramount didn't dare risk showing it again. It's a shame that UK audiences will never see it because it's very funny."

"An insider" saying that "Tom was said not to like the episode"? You could ask anyone that's seen it, they could tell you this much. It's interesting to see something reported over here in the UK based on nothing but a guess. Makes me wonder if Paramount have been trying to put this about to raise South Park's and Cruise's profile.

You can see the episode here.

Hoho. The new series from the makers of - wait for it - Spooks and Hustle had it's first episode tonight, and they almost managed to keep their hand off the Impossibly Daft Slow-Mo button, right up until our time-travelling hero John Sim and his thuggish boss, played by Philip Glenister, jump over a desk.

In slo-mo.

Well at least there was no hideously embarassing musical number, like in Hustle.

And it was going quite well, too before that, with some sly Back to the Future references (asking for a Diet Coke in a pub, the silly "this flyover! coming soon!"), and his 2006 consciousness leaking through a television set in the form of a hirsute Open University lecturer.

Beyond the set-up, the detective story was dreadfully thin, with a massive leap to finding the bad guy, but it'll be worth a go next week. Mind you, I watched the entire first series of Hustle too...