Paperjam

It's not often that a track makes me want to vomit with joy, but the usual Belgians have put a disco-rocket up the arse of Gossip's new single Standing in the way of control, and made me very excited indeed. All over the kitchen floor.

Le Tigre make a pig's ear of their remix, draining the soul and passion from it, but Soulwax have absolutely nailed their version. I love the fact that it's not actually all that different from the original - it's as if they've taken it and slung it through their patented UltraStompyDiscoSex FX box and turned out an absolute throbbing monster. Beth Ditto sounds incredibly impassioned, even more than on the original.

Don't know if the 12" comes with a bottle of poppers, but then it doesn't really need to, it's a rush enough by itself. There's an MP3 floating around Hypemachine, but you'll need to own the twelve - it was out last week, and dammit they've sold out.

Avenue Q is a musical. Strike one. Avenue Q has puppets. Strike two. Avenue Q is a 'satirical revue'. Strike three and you are outta here. But actually you aren't. I went with my wife who was most definitely not up for it, but she agreed it is a very funny show that, although it doesn't have the balls or hit the ball-achingly funny level of Jerry Springer The Musical, is one of the best things to come to the West End recently for laughs. Unless you count We Will Rock You, but I think the laughs are unintentional.

In summary, take Sesame Street, add some sex and decidedly un-pc elements (such as the song 'The Internet is for Porn'), together with a nice ending where investment in said porn sorts out the problems, and you come out with a fairly homely musical (if you are a liberal, anyway). There are some nice little one liners - such as the puppet monsters insisting on being described as 'a person of fur'. The overall staging of puppets mixed with people works well - within a short period you suspend disbelief, and the production is very professional, as you would expect from a Broadway transfer.

Not an absolute must-see, but if you are in London and at loose end you could do far worse. An alternate on the same level may be Spamalot - the musical Monty Python Holy Grail derivative. I would go for Avenue Q as unless you've been living in a cave Spamalot is an exercise in nostalgia. Still funny, but you've heard it all before

Costing many tens of thousands of pounds, and involving a host of managers, project managers, sundry other arseholes, pleb developer types and a coterie of self-serving, self-obsessed, pig-ignorant users across a desert-like couple of years...oh sorry, wrong project.

This is the new version of paper-jam and it cost about 10p to implement, but it has taken me about two months. Dearie me. Those of you watching in black and white/Internet Explorer - it probably looks a bit weird, we will sort it out. (**cough**install firefox.)

Try and pretend like you care while I give you the technical details: it's based on the lovely PHP CodeIgniter framework, which would have made things quicker, but I'm such a thickie.

It also uses the wonderful Akismet spam blocking system to cut down on the torrent of shit comment spam we've been getting recently.

According to their website, 93% of all comments are spam. If you can think of a reason why we shouldn't drive metal drainpipes into these spamming wankers anuses and pour a mixture of hot oil, chilli powder, and the food-processed remains of their own mothers into them, let us know.

(photo from williamallthing's flickr stream)

Jim received a CD from Julius. As he "just likes punk and occasionally Tindersticks" he thought it might be more my sort of music. He was mistaken:

"Are you taking the piss Jim? With a musical piece like that; lyrics that begin 'Have you come lady to dance for me' sung in the style of a jester from the court of Henry VIII, and a cover note written by a bloke who's never escaped his aloof-no-one understands me-I am so alone-stage, the only fair comment I can make is that he perhaps should have been shot at birth. My ears are offended that you thought they might like it. Jim, it's not even bad...it's BAD!!!!"

Julius was born from the ashes of many a thing long forgotten. I know this because he said so himself.

You can check Julius out for yourself on his MySpace page. Despite my comments I recommend you do......