Paperjam

Another one to add to the list of potentially worthwhile upcoming films. We all love a bit of dystopia around here and this seems to fit the bill nicely; An adaption of a P.D. James novel, set in a future where children are no longer born and the whole place is going to the dogs as mankind slowly dies out.

Rather than go the Blade Runner route in presenting the urban future, I've read that this has more in common with grim eighties post-nuclear drama Threads. The trailer seems to bear this out, check the picture of Clive Owen sitting on a shitty train, looking totally miserable. Also on offer is all manner of civil unrest, a Fahrenheit 451-esque political underground, Michael Caine as a hippy, what looks like some kind of epic redemptive quest and that big Sigur Ros tune underscoring the action. Looks Good.

During our soujourn last weekend to the Eastlands art picnic, Steve and I checked out VJ Hooker's YouTube Odyssey, a compendium of short films downloaded from the ubiquitous web site that is probably the main cause of lost hours in British industry.

The best bit was almost certainly this little gem, wherein the fool-pitying Mr T, wears an almost indecent pair of shorts and grunts out a soppy tribute to mothers all over the world.

The lyrics spell out the word MOTHER one tender line at a time. I was taking a swig of lager during the bit where he sings, "M is for the moan, and the miserable groan from the pain that she felt when I was born." Steve had to smack me on the back to stop me from choking.

The video has all sorts of cheesey 80's Reagan wet dream action going on, as horribly dressed kids are stage-school nice to their smiling mums.

You can see this masterpiece here on YouTube.

Plus you can get the lyrics from the MTBSOBSF web site in case you fancy singing along. Fool.

In recent years comments like "Keith ate all the pies (and the pasties too)", "Keith is a fine figure of two men" and "For fucks sake, hide your lunch, here comes Dooley", may have lead some to believe that we considered Keith Dooley to be a touch on the portly side.

We at paper-jam are now happy to set the record straight and confirm that Mr Dooley is in fact one of the finest athletes that Runcorn has ever been privileged to call a resident. A chiselled example of muscular masculinity, not only will he be setting a new course record at the widow-making Great North Run in the near future (in the the over-30's IT Support Bloke category), but he is also doing the whole thing carrying a small child on his shoulders. What a guy.

We therefore apologise unreservedly for any confusion caused and ask that you all sponsor Keith, who will be running to raise money for the Multiple Sclerosis Society, via his page on the justgiving.co.uk web site.

Thank you for your attention.

Not too well? Feeling a bit fed up? Yeah me too. At least if you are feeling rough there is the internet these days (assuming you can make it out of bed) to help, rather than the horror of daytime TV. Speaking of which, while having a look through ThrowAwayYourTV.com I came across this rather good interview with the late, great Hicks seemingly done not a long time before he snuffed it.

It is from a public access channel and features Hicks talking about the infamous David Letterman censorship row, plugging his concert the next day and making mention of the proposed Channel Four series Counts Of The Netherworld which unfortunately never happened. It is fair to say that he isn't looking too sharp and at times seems fairly dejected about the state of his career and profile in America. None the less, if you are a sad Hicks devotee like myself it is well worth sitting through. However if you are feeling a bit sick and fed up (especially if you have recently formed a chemical dependancy on Strepsils like me) then it really isn't going to leave you feeling any better.

After what seems like an awfully long time, comedy misanthrope Luke Haines is back with a single and album with the two-for-one title Off My Rocker At The Art School Bop. The track itself is a catchy affair involving eighties synth noises and a noisy guitar refrain. Sounds like he is saying "Can you feel the beat of my arse?" at one point.

As Steve will no doubt point out once he's heard it - it would be better with the scary/sexy Sarah Nixey singing instead. Memories of going to see Black Box Recorder and feeling all weird when they did "The School Song" come flooding back. Shudder/sigh.

You can check out the single on the inevitable MySpace page and there is more info at the getting-creepier-by-the-minute official Luke Haines web site. Check that fucking 'tache.

In support of the album there is a tour which stops off at the Coventry Collosseum on 2/11 and the Birmingham Academy bar on 8/11. My already hectic November just got a bit more musical.