Paperjam

Dear Catastrophe Waitress by Belle & Sebastian

Music // Jim // 8th November 2003

Following some comments received regarding the apparently “flippant” style of paper-jam review, I have decided to play this one straight. Here follows a track by track assessment of the recent Belle and Sebastian recording Dear Catastrophe Waitress:

Track 1 Step Into My Office Baby
Starts like some Glitter-band nightmare but swiftly changes into standard B&S feyness. Appears to be about 70’s sexual harassment, or something. Catchy.

Track 2 Dear Catastrophe Waitress
The title track sounds like a cross between Girlfriend in a Coma and the soundtrack from a Tom and Jerry cartoon. Great title.

Track 3 If She Wants Me
Entirely majestic, I play it twice in honour of its greatness. Low key Chic guitar thing with glass-shatteringly high vocals going on about how things are “like coming off the pills that you take to stay happy”. Fucking great chorus.

Track 4 Piazza, New York Catcher
Stripped down melancholy folk ditty, Suggests that I am not the only one watching baseball on Channel 5 during insomniac bouts. Singing now so high pitched that it is threatening the integrity of the glassware near the speakers. I decide to move the TV into the next room for the time being.

Track 5 Asleep On A Sunbeam
The standard one with the bird singing, brings the Children's Film Foundation to mind for some reason. Not nearly as good as “Storytelling” off the soundtrack of the same name. Groovy horn section sound like they have been locked in the room next door.

Track 6 I’m A Cuckoo
Post modern Thin lizzy referencing on this Boys Are Back In Town sung by Van Morrisson effort. By B&S standards this is positively butch sounding, the pitch of the vocals drops to such an extent that the dogs stop barking outside. The horn section are still next door but now the door is ajar.

Track 7 You Don’t Send Me
R&B title disguises a big 60’s pastiche that wouldn’t sound out of place on an Austin Powers soundtrack. Quite catchy. Not wild about this one to be honest. The trumpet player has now managed to heroically break into the recording studio but has left his mates behind.

Track 8 Wrapped Up In Books
Whoa... B&S go heavy metal. The guitar is turned all the way up, up, up to 3 and some of the vocals could almost be described as deep. Lyrics seem to be about bookish types trying to get off with each other but could also easily be an interpretive tract about the labour movement in Poland during the 1970’s. Am I reaching here?

Track 9 Lord Anthony
Gentle, singing under the bedsheets, story of school bullying. “Emotive” singing reaching such a pitch that I am now concerned about the windows and transfer my drink to a plastic cup. Could this be about a fantasy version of Tony Blair’s childhood? Oh I hope so.

Track 10 If You find Yourself Caught In Love
The windows are saved as Murdoch drops down an octave or two for this robust track. Sounding like a school orchestra doing a cover version of a track that Bowie decided to leave off Hunky Dory. Nifty Strings. Makes me think of the laundrette especially during the anti-war bits.

Track 11 Roy Walker
Crap. Not a single mention of Mr Chips - Fucking Hell - Rhubarb and Custard guitar solo appears from nowhere. Horn section now fully liberated plus someone who appears to be playing an irritating doorbell and , for the love of christ, a harmonica.

Track 12 Stay Loose
Hmmmm Interesting. Starts as a 60’s thing with cheesy organ and stop/start drumbeat then goes a bit Gary Numan with treated vocals (I think that is the term) and a few electronic noises. Bit of a naff chorus though. Then, blimey B&S turn into....... The Eagles with not one but two lengthy overdubbed guitar solos into fade out. Wasn’t expecting that.


Not sure what Trevor Horn did on this. Tatu it ain’t and not a klaxon in sight. Still I liked it and if you are a fan this is probably a very welcome record indeed. If She Wants Me is up with The Boy With The Arab Strap, Don’t Leave The Light On Baby and Lazy Line Painter Jane in the B&S canon. If you’re not a fan don’t bother this won’t convert you.