Gareth Gates - Your time is up.
Music // Steve // 21st July 2003
There's some ace pop records around at the minute, all of which don't involve the spiky haired Pop Idol (second place). Gareth Gates wouldn't know a good pop record if it grew large implant-heavy breasts and shagged him.
No.
So when we read last week that Gates had admitted that he had actually been seeing/shagging ("initiated"?) the inflatable glamour model Jordan, we realised that he is over. If this is how far he - or his team ("Gaz - we're a little low on coverage this week...") are prepared to go to get him column inches, then he is truly in trouble.
From the amusingly titled - www.ggates.co.uk
I could forgive him if he'd made a half-decent pop record. I might be able to forgive him if he merely oozed star quality, or even any kind of sexuality at all, despite the recent admission. Justin Timberlake, on the other hand, given access to a microphone and Kylie's arse, looks like he could shower the people standing at the bar with his spunk.
Yes.
We have a fairly good idea that Gates is as inoffensive as weak tea, a young man who makes charity records and spends a lot of time helping old people avoid traffic. We hope that we are wrong, and that actually he is a screaming diva who enjoys nothing more than shooting up Windowlene and punching children. And also that he might make a giant all-conquering pop record. And that he gets to grope the Kylie (or maybe Beyonce?) arse on stage - the sure fire way of getting the public massively on your side...
Comments
There are so many things wrong with this article its just not funny…
www.ggates.co.uk - sooooo amusing… funny enough it just happens to be his own name, and if you’re taking a low stab at his stammer, you need to take a leaf out of his book and get over it. That approach to belittle him has been done to death in the media, time for something new people…
You say Gareth is over. Since admitting his fling with Jordan, not only has he produced a fresh new hit headed for yet another successful run in the charts, he’s also continued to reap success overseas, gaining MORE fans and top spots in charts on the other side of the world. Your suggestion that he is over, is simply laughable.
And finally, you state that there are some “ace” pop records around, none of which include (the spikes are now gone) Gareth. Does 4 No.1’s within a year ring any bells?
J : 01/09/2003 08:33:11
I don’t really want to get involved in this, but.....
The widely condemned Jive Bunny managed 3 No.1’s in 6 months, giving a No.1/month ratio of .5.
Gareth on the other hand can only mangage a No.1/month ratio of .3 recurring (assuming your information is correct, and as you appear to be either from Gareth’s press office or Chris Morris I guess it is)
Therefore cold hard science has proved that despite his success, Gareth is in fact less significant than the cartoon rabbit logo of a novelty dj act.
Jim : 03/09/2003 22:04:39
You’re right that people shouldn’t belittle for whatever psychological problems he has - they should rip him to shreds for making bloody boring records.
You really missed the bit where I said that I hoped he would make a giant pop record. I am not some evil bitter man sitting in a bedroom somewhere just randomly picking out… well, actually it is a bit like that, but bollocks to it - we put up with these limp pop stars and their even limper records - weak cover versions (“The Long and Winding Road” and “Spirit in the Sky“)aren’t going to cut it, and “Summertime” (cunningly released in the Autumn, like all good summer records) is not good enough.
Having said that, the new Dido record just got to number 2, and that is also as weak as the tea that your gran makes you, so I could be wrong.
Steve : 07/09/2003 20:36:42
“Therefore cold hard science has proved that despite his success, Gareth is in fact less significant than the cartoon rabbit logo of a novelty dj act.”
Jim—YOU are in fact less significant than both Gareth and any cartoon animal.
J : 31/10/2003 06:30:20
“weak cover versions (“The Long and Winding Road” and “Spirit in the Sky“)aren’t going to cut it”
Steve—aren’t going to cut it? Funny they both were #1’s… I’d say that cuts it.
And yes, Dido’s new single was as weak as Granny’s tea.
J : 31/10/2003 06:32:11
Steve—ps. his latest single was “Sunshine” not “Summertime”. Get your facts straight before you try to crush someone for self-satisfaction (which really won’t achieve you anything in life).
J : 31/10/2003 06:34:02
Fucking hell, we’re crushed. Call off your dogs. Shall we call it a draw?
Can’t we all be friends and revel in the fact that that at least everyone thinks Dido is shit?
Jim : 07/11/2003 18:34:49
J
A charity record cover and a Beatles cover with Will Young do not fantastic shiny bright new pop records make.
Honestly - I think he’s messed it all up - or maybe he had no chance anyway, ‘cos of the Pop Idol thing. See Hearsay for example.
Blowing up so soon, being in the public eye so quickly maybe means that he’s been unable to develop.
I mean come on, he’s so bloody dull when you compare him to American R&B stars, who seem that bit older and that bit more interesting. And that’s even factoring in the Jordan (shudder) factor.
Timberlake (I go on about him far too much for a supposedly heterosexual bloke, dear oh dear...) seems sort of interesting, the sort of popstar who will dig in - playing with The Flaming Lips in a rabbit costume on Top of the Pops and playing with his producers’ band Nerd in a recent gig in Edinburgh, and grabbing Kylie’s arse at the Brits. And he made an unbelievably bitter video in the shape of “Cry Me A River”...
Maybe Timberlake has unbelievably good PR, and it’s possible he’s a total wanker and Gates is a lovely bloke, but fuck it - I want my popstars to be odd, inventive, daft, interesting and entertaining. Don’t ask for much.
Call me a wanker if you like, but tell me how he’s so good, go on.
cheers
Steve : 11/11/2003 20:50:55
I’m willing to keep this is a civilised exchange of opinions, I’m actually quite interested now so…
For one, comparing Gareth to American R&B stars is irrelevant because he is not from that musical genre…
Secondly, he’s recently had his 7th consecutive Top 5 UK Hit with “Say It Isn’t So”, which admittedly wasn’t a song that was added to my all time favourites, I think it was a little too Westlife 99-ish.
But in all fairness, I think Gareth isn’t doing any harm to the industry. The music world needs people like Gareth to appeal to the audience he does in fact draw a fan base from, whether they be teens, preteens, grannies or just random people who happen to like one of his singles suddenly.
All in all, I respect everyone’s opinions on every subject, especially music, as long as the perspective of others is just as willingly reciprocated.
Nice debating with you! :O)
J : 18/12/2003 13:37:41
ps. “Gates is a lovely bloke” you say, too true. That’s one point I totally agree with having met him on several occasions. But yes, there are other factors involved in determining an opinion of him as not just a person, but a musician.
J : 18/12/2003 13:40:05
What is your problem??? why do you like to pick on gareth all the time? what has he ever done to you? it’s so stupid the way you carry on about it. it seems that you might be jelous that he actually has talent and none of you do!!! u should be ashamed about the way you act, your immature!!!!!! gareth is a great person and he doesnt deserve this crap you go on with. imagine if it was you!, oh im sure he can take constructive critiscism but not this ridiculous stuff. although, you are intitaled to your own opinions.
UPSET : 30/12/2003 01:40:49
i think that there are a lot of pop stars that are great singers and will continue doing that, but i think that gareth gates is the best.I think that they should hold some of the concerts in scunthorpe then they will get more people going to the concerts. this may be a long message but thats what i think.
hannan aziz : 15/01/2004 14:09:09