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Psychology: The game is up

Web // Jim // 30th August 2007

For decades, students of psychology have strived to produce subtle yet exacting tests to pinpoint the nature of an individual’s personality. You can’t even get a temping job doing data entry without doing some deeply cunning multiple choice test asking you if in your spare time do you prefer to:
a) Spend time with your family
b) Socialise with friends/play sports
c) Enjoy your own company with a book/some music
d) Self harm, smoke crack and torture kittens

Well, the likes of Belbin and Myers-Briggs have all struggled in vain as far as I can tell, because today I was sent an e-mail containing a link to the most accurate personality evaluation tool that I can imagine the human mind will ever assemble. I refer to the “Which Sports Car Are You??” multiple choice quiz.

This frighteningly sophisticated psychological tool (now in its refined second version) uses a deceptively small number of seemingly vacuous yes/no questions to determine the precise nature of your “inner vehicle”. Honestly it is like someone shining a spotlight into your soul.

In the interests of science I submitted to the test and got the following results:

Anyone who knows me will tell you that this is a devastatingly accurate assessment (as long as you stop reading after the first eight words). But to be fair I have been hanging round in a desert at dusk a lot lately, right near a stylish rocky outcrop. It just feels right.