Paperjam

Ringleader Of The Tormentors By Morrissey

Music // Jim // 5th April 2006

Ther isn't much I can say about the new Morrissey album that you won't have read already. Is he anouncing that is gay, straight or at least at it with someone after all these years? Who knows really? I doubt he will be making any announcements on the subject.

In the frenzy everyone seems to have forgotten that Moz is not averse to making the odd sexually charged comment here and there. Handsome Devil contains the line "Let me get my hands on your mammory glands", but also, "A boy in the bush is worth two in the hand", and that was from more than 20 years ago. So he's always been a big tease really, probably enjoys the attention - even from the NME these days.

The question that should be asked is "Is this new album any good?", well the answer has to be a "Yes". Although still nowhere near the sublime Vauxhall and I, it has some great moments and only contains two real clunkers.

You want details? OK here you go:

I Will See You In Far Off Places
Sounds a bit like the last Ian Brown album – Eastern tinged wailing guitars and political lyrics. “It your god bestows protection upon you and the USA doesn’t bomb you…”. All gets a bit Arabian sounding towards the end, not necessarily a bad thing. Bombastic to the point that my headphones are getting all crackly even at low volumes.

Dear God Please Help Me
Big talking points: “There are explosive kegs between my legs” and “Now I’m spreading your legs with mine in between”. Very soundtrack-ish, helped no doubt by the presence of Ennio Morricone. Does that thing of carrying on the strings for a bit once the song has ended which I always like.

You Have Killed Me
Easily the best single since the barnstorming Irish Blood, English Heart. Packs in more posh cultural references than a Lloyd Cole album. Very jaunty considering the title. This has definitely grown on me since the first time I heard it on (the demonic, evil) MySpace.

The Youngest Was The Most Loved
Classic Morrissey theme of messed up kids getting up to no good, makes me think of Belle and Sebastian. A bunch of kids sing along with Moz “There is no such thing in life as normal” as the admirable chorus. Catchy.

In The Future When All’s Well
Bolan/Bowie referencing at the start of this one (and all the way through it too be honest) “Living longer than I intended, something must have gone right”, he says, cheerfully.
Like a really boring cover version of Cigarettes and Alcohol.

The Father Who Must Be Killed
Title kind of gives away where this is going. The kids are back too, disturbingly, for this tale of domestic bliss with a twist at the end. To me this is one of the most smiths-esque things Morrissey has ever done, at least lyrically - the music is a bit naff to say the least.

Life Is A Pigsty
Game of two halves, all rainy and atmospheric then turns into Blade Runner (honest).
Second part is genius, like a lot of good Morrissey songs it is really a replacement for having a good cry. The moment at which Moz cries “Life is a pigsty, and if you don’t know this then what do you know?” is one of the defining moments of his recording
career. That voice carving the melody into the atmospherics of rain, thunder, droning synth and lazy drums. Yes I realise that I am gushing like a twat but I can’t quite get over how totally brilliant this is. In a word: Cathartic.

I’ll Never Be Anybody’s Hero Now
Death is rearing its ugly, yet inevitable head and Morrissey is mourning the loss of a love lost “under the ground”. Time for a good self-deprecating moan albeit to a big soaring chorus. Will be good live.

On The Streets I Ran
A fresh entry into the Morrissey lyrical clunker canon: “you will kill or be killed, which isn’t very nice”. Ouch!
However the song is an agreeable twangy guitar belter. Inhabited by a sense of menace, but I’m really not sure why.

To Me You Are A Work Of Art
“I would give you my heart, that’s if I had one”
Moz is so sick of the world that he could puke. Nice. Quite a sweet song really, with a great yodelling chorus.

I Just Want To See The Boy Happy
Could be off Southpaw Grammar. Inoffensive but ultimately pointless, like parsley. Nearly redeemed by strange trombone solo (or something) at the end. But it is not enough.

At Last I Am Born
Is this the one that is saying “Get ready Boys/Girls/Everyone here I come with my newly discovered testicles”? Possibly. Anyway, this continues the trend of big theatrical finishes to Morrissey albums with a kind of Latin military vibe.
Fuck me. What on earth am I talking about?