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Sex And The City: The Movie

Film // Kate // 20th June 2008

Okay, for me this was a long awaited cinema outing with a group of friends. Having a husband that despises all things to do with going to the cinema and a child that makes me so tired I can barely make it through an episode of Eastenders, this is quite an achievement and caused mild excitement…for about 3 hours.

First things first, I should explain my allegiance, or lack of, to the series. I enjoyed watching the odd episode, I know most of the characters and have followed all of the key storylines. I should point out that as a die-hard Friends fan, honestly there was a lack of commitment from me. I still to this day have not classified myself as a Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte or Samantha, which is what a real SATCer would have done long ago. As it turns out, these hardcore fans got themselves dressed up as their chosen character for the purposes of going to the cinema…WTF? To truly fulfil their role, all of the Samanthas would have been shagging the ticket boy in the back row. In true Friends style, I donned my Joey pants and sat back with a bag of Maltesers and large Coke.

So, on to the film. I have to confess, I’ve always found SATC akin to televised porn for women. Lots of great sex, men with ripped bodies and women with normal boobs wearing designer outfits. Not like your average porn with handlebar moustaches, fake tits, dirty great bellies (not just the men) and rather suspect dubbed Spanish. Not that I have seen or know anything about average porn, I hasten to add. My first disappointment – the film was sadly lacking in the regular sexual exploits seen in the episodes. They did manage to redeem themselves somewhat later on in the film with a rather gratuitous shot of a man having a shower with an impressive willy on display, I am mildly appeased for now.

SATC: Big, cock

My second disappointment – they’re all starting to look a bit haggard really. I always watched with awe, admiration and envy when I was younger – the style, the jobs, the partying, the sex. Having grown up considerably since then, they can’t carry it off half as well as they did before, and shouldn’t even try. Mutton, lamb anyone..? It is ironic that I am making mild criticism of these people – I was affectionately (or not!) referred to as l’oiseau francais today due to my sometimes continental sense of style, I have reached the heady heights of the career world as a project manager in cutthroat local government, my last party night out was a curry with work and I think I had better leave the sex part out!

There were a few more redeeming features of the film, other than the big cock. Charlotte shits her pants (I confess I do find toilet humour very funny), the shot of Miranda’s well overgrown bikini line, and now I’m struggling to think of the others…

All in all it wasn’t a bad film, but definitely too much City and not enough Sex.