The worst questions to ask when speed dating
Rant // Jim // 27th August 2006
Keep getting asked if I'll go speed-dating, mostly it would seem for the amusement of other people. The answer is a resolute "No".
Fearing a BA/Milkshake style conspiracy I have made a list of absolutely the worst questions that I could think of to ask the ladies, so that if I ever wake up from a drug induced slumber faced by a number of birds with name tags and scoring cards at the ready I could use this lot to get myself a lifetime ban:
"When you die, would you rather be buried or cremated?"
"Do you know how to empty a colostomy bag?"
"Who had the best uniform, the SS or the Luftwaffe?"
"Would you like to see my birthmark? It virtually covers both cheeks."
"Have you got any, like, really fit mates?"
"Can you lend me a quid for the bus?"
"Coprophilia: your thoughts?"
"Have you got any knives that need sharpening?"
"I've got two tickets to see Jim Davidson in Nuneaton next week, d'you fancy it?"
"Will you do me a favour and pull my finger?"
"Have you heard the good news? He is risen. Hallelujah!"
"Would you mind calling me "Daddy" for the next few minutes?"
Comments
Why are you so against speed dating? It’s great fun! Why don’t you try it once before you dismiss it completely. It would make a great article for your website if nothing else.
Julie : 07/03/2007 13:31:01
Hmmm, think the article would end up being titled “Jim helps the Police with their enquiries”. You’ve met me, you know why I’m not going.
Jim : 10/03/2007 00:20:00