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Will you like Sin City?

Film // Jim // 22nd June 2005

Rather than give too much away about this (frankly mental but very entertaining) film we have decided instead to help you decide whether or not Sin City is really your sort of thing.

Willis: About to really hurt someone, very entertaining

This approach was inspired by the young man who was out the front of the Leamington Apollo cinema last weekend with his girlfriend.
He gradually talked her into seeing Sin City with tall tales of romantic plots and dramatic twists. Something of a schoolboy error - he was getting plenty of stick on the way out, let me tell you.

So don’t trust your friends or partners, follow our foolproof test to discover whether Sin City is the film for you rather than that hilarious Vin Diesel thing with the kids and the nappies...

Which of the following do you enjoy in a film?
a) Some Guns
b) Some Tits
c) Lots and lots of Guns and Tits

How do you think comics should be adapted for the cinema?
a) They shouldn’t. Comics are for kids, the only books that should be adapted for cinema are EM Forster novels, triumph-against-the-odds biographies and of course, the Bible.
b) Loudly with loads of product placements and things blowing up, deviating wildly from the point of the original while trying to squeeze in a cameo for Arnie. Plus loads of shit puns.
c) Obsessively recreating the original in almost anal detail using computer graphics and stylish black and white photography with bits of colour thrown in here and there.

Sin City: Guns, tits

How should characters die in a film?
a) Quietly and with some purpose. On a cross if possible, or in a hail of gunfire if they are plainly evil foreigners and/or terrorists.
b) In a really ironic way, but with as little blood and pain as possible. Also if the character is a dog they are to all intents and purposes, immortal. Impervious to tidal waves, hurricanes and any form of alien attack.
c) Half the cast should be shot, stabbed, sliced, skewered, dismembered, shot again, beaten, whipped, blown apart, shot once more, electrocuted and finally eaten before they actually bite the dust.

How should prostitutes be portrayed in the cinema?
a) Scabby whores and abused children who come to a nasty end or inspire some unpleasant act of righteous violence.
b) Hot babes in lycra who all yearn to meet millionaires and settle down. They are all really nice and don’t have crack addictions or AIDS.
c) Unbelievably attractive women in revealing fetish clothing who all carry a variety of weapons, are hard as nails and never actually seem to to any er, business.

If a work colleague of yours was being treated rudely by some passing gentlemen in a car what would you use to resolve the situation?
a) Harsh words of admonishment
b) Mobile phone to call the police
c) Some razor sharp swastika shaped shuriken and a big sword wielded in a lethal manner.

How should paedophiles be punished?
a) Thrown to baying mobs for a good lynching, or promoted to Bishop.
b) Like, locked up or something?
c) Castrated, twice by the same person. Somehow.

What kind of home movies do you enjoy?
a) Weddings, christenings that sort of thing
b) Anything off “You’ve Been Framed” involving babies, animals or people “falling” into swimming pools while carrying something.
c) Those seemingly endless compilation films of skateboarders messing up some complicated jump, landing legs akimbo on a railing, smashing their bollocks and eating concrete.

Mostly A’s: Hmmm this probably won’t be your sort of thing. Why not protest outside instead?

Mostly B’s: You are either a Hollywood executive or a Big Brother viewer, either way, you ain’t really welcome round here. Capiche?

Mostly C’s: You are most likely to be a heterosexual male between the ages of 15 and 40. Congratulations, this film was made for you. You may now fill your boots.

More Sin City...

Official movie site

All sorts of stuff, some quite good flash games too.

The complete works of Frank Miller

Site with comprehensive details on the output of the author and co-director of Sin City. Did The Dark Knight Returns too.

Sin City at the Wikipedia

Comprehensive as always, but many spoilers