Paperjam

You may have heard of the Star Wars Uncut web site, a project where loads of people are contributing 15 seconds each to a re-make of the sci-fi classic.

You might have amused yourself by browsing at some of the inventive clips that have already been uploaded.

You might even have reserved one of the sections to have a crack at yourself.

But did you decide to pay homage to the critical scene 247 (arrival at the remains of Alderaan), by invoking the spirit of David Lynch directing a re-make of The Specials "Ghost Town" video, dubbed into French - starring Amy Winehouse, Woody Allen, Adolf Hitler and a trans-gender Gallic pensioner?

Hopefully not, because thats what we did...

Star Wars Uncut - Scene 247 from Jim Morton on Vimeo.

It is stunningly difficult to get your head round the creationist belief that the earth is actually only about ten thousand years old.

Despite the weight of scientific and cultural evidence lurking about, fundamentalist Christians reckon that the best way to work out the age of the planet (and indeed everything else) is to do a bit of a "Who do you think you are?" style genealogy of all the characters in the bible.

Here is a clip of Bill Hicks explaining why this is such bollocks. The main thrust of his thesis being a lack of discussion about dinosaurs in the bible.

But it now seems that some bright spark at the Creation Museum in Kentucky has had a bit of a think about this and has decided that if the evidence doesn't seem to support their position, then they better damn well present a version of events that does.

Visitors to their marvellous facility will now clearly leave convinced that man and dinosaur must have co-existed, otherwise why would there be an exhibit in a museum of a Triceratops with such a nifty leather saddle?

Seems plausible enough to me.

If you haven't had the chance to read the marvellous book Lint yet, you really should - a matter I went into in the usual wide-eyed, tangential manner about a year ago.

I heard that there was also a film following the career of legendary sci-fi author Jeff Lint in the offing, but then promptly forgot about it. However it now seems that this project is more or less done. There's a lintthemovie myspace page which says that it is due out in 2009 and has a list of exciting contributors including Alan Moore, Stewart Lee and Mr Solo - who is also represented by a David Devant and His Spirit Wife song lurking on the page.

Check the teaser trailer below, although it probably ain't much fun for epileptics. Also knocking around on-line are bits of The Caterer, Lint's seminal comic featuring a grinning, goat obsessed psychopath.

Easily the greatest live band I have ever seen are coming around later in the year, I've already spunked a load of money on tickets for the birmingham gig at the Academy (or whatever it is called these days), site of the amazingly triumphant gig that put me in a good mood for that week in 2006. Ahh, 2006.

Also in the works is a scary sounding double album, featuring in the words of Wayne Coyne the vocal stylings of some "Weird mathemetician guy from Germany". Not much you can add to that really but here is a video of the band pissing about in a mildly sinister fashion.

What with me being about six months late on everything you may well have come across this already.

It shouldn't be all that funny cross-breeding pseudo-nasty Guy Ritchie gangster banter with Star Wars footage. However the excerpt here that involves Peter Cushing and an intercom has that stonehenge-esque power to make you piss yourself even on repeated viewings...